Even More Trouble with Aging
When we are younger, we tend to breeze through life with naivety and a lack of awareness. Of course, there can be young people who are wise and mature beyond their years, but with the passing years of life comes gained life experience.
That can often translate into righteous wisdom and maturity, but increased suffering and bitterness can also accompany increased age and life experience.
I want to continue our series on aging by helping us prepare for and lessen the troubles, regrets, and bitterness that can come with adding years to our lives.
Last week, I outlined how unexpected events trigger a new awareness, and how our foolish interpretations can trouble our own trouble. Those were the first three out of five common threads that run through the 8 Ds of Aging (Dissatisfaction, Disorientation, Discouragement, Dread, Disappointment, Disinterest, Distance, and Distraction).
Here are the final two themes:
4. Ruling Desires
I said last week that the interpretations we bring to the unexpected events and new awareness of getting older are deeply theological. I’m not talking about our confessional theology—what we say we believe. No, the functional theology that shapes our response during this period is rooted in the values, treasures, and cravings of our hearts.
The crisis of getting older is always a crisis of the desires of the heart. Age and increased life experience just expose what we have really been living for all along, and where we have tried to find meaning and purpose.
What we confess, recite, and sing about on Sunday at church may not, in fact, be the thing that has actually taken daily rulership over our hearts. And when these things that rule us are taken out of our hands, we tend to become angry, fearful, bitter, or discouraged. We experience a loss of identity, meaning, and purpose.
5. Reflexive Responses
Reflexive responses may seem natural, necessary, and logical to what we are experiencing in the moment, but they are only the result of desire.
Someone who is ruled by pleasure, comfort, predictability, or acceptance will reflexively respond poorly when suffering or betrayal inevitably strikes. On the other hand, someone whose heart is firmly rooted in the sovereignty of God, the pleasure of communion with their Lord, and their identity in Christ will reflexively respond in an entirely different way.
Both will sing the same hymns and confess the same doctrine. Both will experience the same troubles in life. However, their reflexive responses could be radically different due to their functional theology and the ruling desires of their hearts.
Unexpected Events. New Awareness. Foolish Interpretations. Ruling Desires. Reflexive Responses. These are the five common threads that course through the 8 Ds of Aging (Dissatisfaction, Disorientation, Discouragement, Dread, Disappointment, Disinterest, Distance, and Distraction).
As you grow older, you will become increasingly aware that your life has not unfolded as planned, and you will be reminded more and more that you never truly know what is coming next.
At the same time, do you remind yourself that your life has always been under the wise and sovereign plan of the Author of your life (see Acts 17:26–27; Dan. 4:34b–35)? Does your time in the Word, in communion with your Lord, and in fellowship with the Body of Christ develop an increasing awareness of how wide, how deep, how full, and how complete the love of God is for you?
With a robust functional theology in the sovereignty of God, his love and care for you, and your identity in Christ, you can actually be prepared for the unexpected.
If we truly believe and act upon what the Bible says about God, ourselves, life, sin, and the surrounding world, we will be better prepared to deal with the trouble of getting older.
A Prayer for Today: Lord, as I get older, I’m tempted to believe that I’ve missed out on your good plan for me, and that can create a sense of panic in my soul. God, please help me remember who I am in you, and that I’m always under your wise and sovereign plan for my life. Please give me a richer, deeper, and more complete love for you each day as I grow older. Bring my ruling desires and reflexive responses under your control as I lay them in your hands right now. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Discussion Prompt for Children
1. Why do you think it’s difficult for people to get older? What kinds of things do they experience as they age? How do you think God feels about people who are getting older?
2. What does a person’s actions show you about what they truly believe, no matter what they might say they believe? In what ways does a person’s actions show you what someone truly cares about and lives for?
3. What does it mean to desire? How do you think you can find out what a person truly desires?
4. Even though we don’t know what will happen in the future, how do you think a Christian can be unafraid of confusing and difficult times?
Reflection Questions
1. As you closely examine your own life, where do you see differences between your confessional theology and your functional theology? What might God be calling you to change in order for your confessional theology to align with your functional theology?
2. Why is the crisis of getting older always a crisis of the desires of your heart? How have you seen age expose what someone has been living for all along in their life? In what ways will age expose what you yourself have been living for all along? How does that scare you? In what ways might God be calling you to change?
3. Where would you say you find identity, meaning, and purpose? How would you say your search for identity, meaning, and purpose has exposed what has taken daily rulership over your heart?
4. Would you say you frequently remind yourself that your life has always been under the wise and sovereign plan of the Author of your life? If not, what stands in your way of that daily reminder?
5. How does your time in the Word, in communion with your Lord, and in fellowship with the Body of Christ develop an increasing awareness of how wide, how deep, how full, and how complete the love of God is for you?