Terrified by Obedience

For Wednesday’s Word this month, we’re spending time in the book of Acts. I wrote last week about God rescuing Saul on the road to Damascus, which is the most amazing demonstration of rescuing grace. But there’s another amazing aspect of the story that often gets forgotten or overlooked.

“Now there was a disciple at Damascus named Ananias. The Lord said to him in a vision, “Ananias.” And he said, “Here I am, Lord.” And the Lord said to him, “Rise and go to the street called Straight, and at the house of Judas look for a man of Tarsus named Saul, for behold, he is praying, and he has seen in a vision a man named Ananias come in and lay his hands on him so that he might regain his sight” (Acts 9:10–12).

Poor, poor Ananias. I don’t know about you, but I could not imagine a worse job description. I could not think of anything I would dread more than obeying this call of God. Remember, this was execution-approving (8:1), “still breathing threats and murder” Saul (9:1).

I’m so glad that the Bible records the collision of fear and faith in the heart of Ananias. “But Ananias answered, “Lord, I have heard from many about this man, how much evil he has done to your saints at Jerusalem” (9:13).

Imagine what it must have been like for Ananias to enter the house where Saul was waiting for him. As he crossed the threshold, would he be seized, bound, and executed?

But Ananias’ vertical fear of God defeated his horizontal fear of anything else.

And so, filled with fear of the unknown, but filled with confidence in his Lord, “Ananias departed and entered the house…”(9:17).

Maybe Ananias worried all the way, but he still went. Perhaps he hesitated and thought about turning back a few times, but he still completed the journey. Maybe he nervously prayed for help and safety with every step, but he still stepped forward. Perhaps he reconciled himself to the fact that he might die, but he didn’t allow even the fear of death to stop him.

Every step between where he was and where blind Saul waited was a step of faith, moving towards God in fear instead of away from Saul in fear.

And then, with perhaps the biggest sigh of relief ever, the Saul Ananias encountered was not a man to fear but one to pity and love. How beautiful is it that once-fearful Ananias now addresses Saul as his brother, extending to him God’s forgiving, reconciling, and adopting grace.

What appeared to be the most terrifying job description ever was actually the best gospel opportunity ever. Despite being afraid, Ananias’ fearful obedience to God was used by God to change the life of this murderous man forever.

And because of Ananias, the legacy of the Apostle Paul’s ministry has since shaped the faith of every person who has ever believed in Jesus.

This amazing narrative took place because God chose one timid Christian to be an instrument of his transforming grace. That timid Christian determined to allow the fear of God to rule his heart and guide his steps.

God will call ordinary, timid people like you and me to do extraordinary things for his kingdom. In these moments, when obedience seems unsafe, he asks one thing of us: let the fear of God rule in our hearts and guide our steps.

The Lord doesn’t need you to be strong, because he is. He doesn’t need you to be a hero, because he is the hero. No, he chooses to send the timid into battle, and through them, he displays the power of his might and the glory of his grace.

There is no greater honor and opportunity than being an instrument of God’s redeeming grace. Are you ready and willing, even if you are terrified?

A Prayer for Today: Lord, I admit that I can be a timid follower of you, afraid to step out in boldness for your glory and my good. I need your empowering and redeeming grace in my life to help me be an instrument in your hands. I desire to do your will, but my fear of others can get in the way of that. Please help me to do extraordinary things for your kingdom and let my fear of you guide my every step. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Conversation Prompts for Children

• What do you think it means to be timid? What does it mean to be bold? What are some things you are timid about? Bold about?
• Why do you think the Bible says God’s power is made perfect in our weakness? How does that make sense?
• What are some ways you would like God to be strong and bold in your life?

Reflection Questions

1. Have you ever witnessed someone’s vertical fear of God overcome their horizontal fear of something else? Do you have a personal story that puts God’s power on display despite your fear?

2. What do you think it would look like to live out obedience to and fear of God amid fear and trepidation about anything else?

3. Who in your life might God be calling you to take a step toward and show the love of God by sharing the gospel? How can you specifically pray for that person right now, before you ever engage in a conversation with them?

4. Take some time to pray and ask God for the power to be bold about your faith, even if you are terrified to open your mouth to talk about Jesus. Ask him to empower you, give you the right words and posture, and help your heart to live with compassion for the lost.