Psalms for a Midlife Crisis
Today will conclude our October and November series on getting older, before we transition to Advent in December. I pray these have been a blessing and encouragement to you.
Many have replied suggesting or asking that I turn this series into a book, and in fact, one already exists! These email devotionals have been adapted from my book, Lost in the Middle: MidLife and the Grace of God, if you want to continue to read what the Bible has to say on this area of life, beyond Wednesday’s Word.
Now, for the final entry!
I wrote last week that God’s Word is our most reliable manual for human life, especially as we get older. I know you would confessionally agree with that statement, but you might also ask, “Where does the Bible practically talk about midlife struggles?”
Well, the Bible never discusses midlife explicitly, just like it never discusses teenagers. Scripture is not an encyclopedia, containing a topical index of human problems and divine solutions.
God’s Word is comprehensive, but not exhaustive. That means it provides us with a lens through which to look at everything, while not telling us everything about everything.
If the Bible were exhaustive, we’d have to transport it in five 18-wheel trucks everywhere we went! Yet the Bible can unpack any of life’s experiences, because it was written by the One who made them all.
I want to apply this to midlife and aging by directing you to two Psalms: 4 and 88. We don’t have space to exegete verse by verse, so I will briefly reference the first and last of each. But do take the time to read them in full.
“Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have given me relief when I was in distress. Be gracious to me and hear my prayer! […] In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety.” (Psalm 4:1–8, ESV)
“O Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out day and night before you […] You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness.” (Psalm 88:1–18, ESV)
The NIV translation of Psalm 88:18 is so powerful: “Darkness is my closest friend.” The conclusion is so dark, so desperate, and so lacking in any perceivable hope that it almost takes your breath away.
Likewise, the grief and pain in Psalm 4 are unthinkable. David is fleeing for his life from his own son, Absalom. I’m sure you know of older parents whose adult children won’t talk with them, but could you imagine your kid now trying to kill you?
The Psalms are in the Bible to keep us honest. Biblical faith isn’t presented as being comfortable, pleasant, and easy. Rather, the more you examine the shocking honesty of the Psalms, the more you see how messy, chaotic, and question-riddled the life of faith actually is.
As we age, hitting midlife and beyond, things will happen that we won’t understand. The Psalms speak into this world with a gorgeous balance of honesty and hope.
Psalm 4 is a case study of hope in the middle of a seemingly hopeless situation. It is a picture of remarkable rest in the center of deeply personal unrest.
But what about Psalm 88?
The hope of Psalm 88 is found precisely in the fact that it has no hope in it! It isn’t wrapped with some neat theological bow at the end. Psalm 88 is hopeful because of its stark honesty and profound darkness.
Because Psalm 88 is in the Bible, you can say to yourself, “What I am going through right now is not beyond the scope of redemption. The loving hands of a powerful Redeemer are long enough to reach into the details of my unique experience as well. This, too, is the kind of thing for which God has given me his grace!”
While they have different endings, Psalm 4 and Psalm 88 (and many others) are in the Bible to remind us that the circle of God’s grace is big enough to contain every experience that this broken world could throw at us.
As a child of grace, it is utterly impossible to get so lost in midlife and old age that grace cannot find and rescue you. It is impossible to experience a confusion so great that grace would not be able to understand it.
Here is the hope as you get older: you can never live long enough to outlive the reach of God’s grace!
P.S. – to continue studying what the Word of God has to say about midlife and aging, check out my older book, Lost in the Middle. This title from 2004 recently got a new cover design and now includes questions for personal reflection and group discussion. Go to PaulTripp.com/Lost to discover the beautiful second edition of Lost in the Middle.
A Prayer for Today: Lord, thank you for providing the raw honesty I’m able to read in the pages of Scripture. Places like Psalm 4 and Psalm 88 help me to know that I’m not alone in my life’s struggles and confusion when they come along. Sometimes things are dark for me, but I’m oddly comforted by the fact that biblical authors went through some of the same emotions and experiences I’m going through today. Thank you for the grace of the Word, and thank you that I am never beyond the reach of your loving care in my life, despite the challenges and chaos I sometimes experience. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Discussion Prompt for Children
1. What do you think it means to be “proper” or “formal”? Do you think the Bible is always proper or formal in a way that doesn’t match with what people sometimes go through when things are hard?
2. Did you know that the Bible is very honest about what people go through in life? If the Bible is honest about even the hard and difficult times that men and women of God go through, do you think that means we have permission to feel those emotions too? Why or why not?
3. What does the word “grace” mean? What do you think it means to be a child of grace? Are you a child of grace? Can grownups be children of grace? Am I a child of grace? Why do you think it’s always good news to be a child of grace?
Reflection Questions
1. What were your initial thoughts and feelings when you first reviewed Psalms 4 and 88 today? What was your knee-jerk reaction when you read that Psalm 88:18 said that “darkness was my closest friend”? Did that seem irreverent to you at first? Did it upset you? Did it provide relief or comfort for you?
2. What kinds of things are happening in your life right now that you don’t understand? Do you feel like you are able to approach God with honesty in your confusing circumstances? Do you feel there is any hope even though life might be dark at the moment? Read Psalm 4 again—how does this specific psalm provide a case study of hope? Does that case study free you up to hope in ways you may not initially have processed?
3. Why is the hope of Psalm 88 found precisely in the fact that there is no hope in it? How does that make sense? In what ways does the authenticity of Psalm 88 provide hope for you?
4. Why is what you might be going through right now not beyond the scope of redemption? How can you intentionally remind yourself that the loving hands of a powerful Redeemer are long enough to reach into the details of your unique experience?