The 8 Ds of Aging
Last week, we considered four realities that every person might experience in their life as they get older: dissatisfaction, disorientation, discouragement, and dread.
At some point, you will lose the expectancy, vibrancy, hopefulness, and courage of your youth. Whether you want to call that a “midlife crisis” or just feeling “stuck”, here are four more:
5. Disappointment
Disappointment can come in the form of personal regret and/or unrealized dreams. (My guess is that in a fallen world, you have experienced both!)
As you age, you will reflect on your life and realize that there were things you wanted to accomplish but never managed to do. This could be because of personal failure and shortcomings, or because life happened outside of your control and dashed your dreams.
When you are young, you can still tell yourself that you have time to realize your dreams, but as you get older, it becomes harder to do so.
6. Disinterest
For various reasons, the things that once excited and stimulated us are no longer interesting. This could certainly be a positive feature of acquired wisdom and life experience, avoiding the empty pursuits of our youth, but often, disinterest is the negative result of living in a fallen world.
That may be a disinterest in human relationships, career, hobbies, or even spiritual disinterest. The pursuit of the things we once found attractive fades away, and we lose interest in our own lives.
7. Distance
Naturally, as we become disinterested in things or people, even the Lord, it’s hard not to withdraw and desire to be left alone. “It is not good that the man should be alone” (Genesis 2:18). Aging can cut us off from the two communities of love that we were created to live in—loving and worshipful community with God and loving community with others.
8. Distraction
With all these emotions and experiences swirling around inside of me, we enter a place of real vulnerability to temptation.
Every sinner tends to deal with inner struggles by feeding the outer man. Some of us overeat when we are upset. Some of us cope with disappointment by acquiring things that we believe will satisfy us. Some of us numb ourselves with excessive pursuit of leisure or pleasure.
When I am disappointed with myself and discouraged with my life, it is tempting to give way to the lust of the flesh. It is tempting to deal with the absence of true contentment by pursuing the fleeting, but potentially enslaving, physical pleasures that are all around me.
Getting older can be, and should be, a beautiful thing. With it comes wisdom, different freedom, and new opportunities for influence. But in a fallen world, where everything is in a state of decay and the surrounding culture idolizes vanity, energy, and youth, it can be very discouraging.
Whether you are in your 30s, your 50s, your 70s, or beyond, experiencing any or all of these “8 Ds of aging”, I want you to remember just two things today.
There aren’t two things in all of life more important than these: that God’s mercy has purchased for you a place in his family and that God’s power controls all things for your good until your eternal inheritance is to be received.
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time” (1 Peter 1:3–5).
There are unique temptations, struggles, and concerns as you get older, but these two gospel promises are unshakeable. The gospel can set you free from the 8 Ds of aging, not because you are denying the reality of getting older or because you have been given a ticket out of suffering, but because you are confident that his love and guard will never fail.
Not only is he guarding what is to come, he is guarding you—right here, right now—so that when what is to come has come, you will be there to receive it and enjoy it forever and ever.
If you remember that you are loved unconditionally and have this wonderful future ahead of you, you won’t live as if this life, now passing you by, is all you have.
A Prayer for Today: Lord, I need to be reminded that your mercy for me is great, and that you are in control of all things for my good. I admit that it can be quite difficult for me to believe those two truths day-in and day-out when I’m experiencing the hardships of getting older, but you are above even my doubts. Help me to know your unconditional love for me more each day and help me to live by the truth that this life that passes me by is not all I have. You are my ultimate treasure, God…help me to live as if I believe that’s actually true. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Discussion Prompt for Children
1. How do you think it feels to get old? What do you think are the positive things about getting older? What about the negative things?
2. How do you think God views people as they get older? What might be special about someone who has lived longer than you? How do you think you could learn and grow because of an older person in your life?
3. Why is there always hope for an older person who’s a Christian?
Reflection Questions
1. As we went through the last 4 “Ds” just now, what stuck out to you as the one that you struggle with the most? How has that specific struggle affected your daily life and perspective?
2. Regardless of your struggles, why is it reassuring and hopeful that God’s mercy has purchased a place for you? How can that truth bring hope to you each day at a “street level”?
3. How does this truth bring you hope?: God’s power controls all things for your good until your eternal inheritance is received.
4. In what ways is the gospel setting you free from disappointment, disinterest, distance, and distraction? How is God currently guarding you—right here, right now—in ways that are preparing you for what is to come in your future with him?