Rebuke with Levitical Reasoning
When was the last time you were rebuked by someone within the body of Christ? Is there a brother or sister in the Lord whom you love who needs to hear words of rebuke?
Rebuke is something we should want more from those who claim to love us. And rebuke is something we should look to give more to those we claim to love.
If that doesn’t sound strange enough, get ready for this: when you are preparing for moments of loving, corrective rebuke, go to the book of Leviticus!
Love. Know. SPEAK. Do.
Read these words from Leviticus 19:
15 “You shall do no injustice in court. You shall not be partial to the poor or defer to the great, but in righteousness shall you judge your neighbor. 16 You shall not go around as a slanderer among your people, and you shall not stand up against the life of your neighbor: I am the LORD.
17 “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. 18 You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD” (ESV, emphasis mine).
I emphasized that particular phrase because the NIV translates it as “rebuke your neighbor frankly.”
Confrontation of others is rooted in a submission to the First Great Command: “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37).
Twice the Leviticus passage says, “I am the Lord.” God intends confrontation to be an expression of our submission to him in our relationships with others. If we love God above all else, confrontation is an extension and expression of that love.
Confrontation of others is also rooted in the Second Great Command: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Isn’t it interesting that the Old Testament call to love your neighbor as yourself is tied to this call to frank rebuke?
Our culture puts a high premium on being tolerant and polite. We go so far as to convince ourselves that we are not speaking because we love the other person when, in reality, we fail to speak because we lack love.
We fail to confront, not because we love others too much, but because we love ourselves too much—and because we don’t love God enough.
Perhaps we love the personal benefits a relationship with someone else gives us that we don’t want to risk losing. Maybe we prefer to avoid the hardship, sacrifice, and complications that confrontation will involve.
Perhaps fear of man is what prevents us from confronting—will they misunderstand me, get angry with me, or talk badly about me to others? Maybe our hearts are ruled more by peace, respect, and appreciation than love of God and love of neighbor.
To the degree that we give the love of our hearts to someone or something else, to that degree we lose our primary motive to confront.
Confrontation is our moral responsibility in every relationship, “lest you incur sin because of him.” The NIV says, “so you will not share in their guilt.”
If we love people and want God’s best for them, how can we stand by as they wander away? How can we let them deceive themselves with excuses, blame, and rationalizations? How can we watch them get more and more enslaved by the fleeting pleasures of sin? How can we let a sufferer add to his suffering by the way he responds to his own experience?
True love is neither idle nor timid. It is other-centered and active. It is not offensively intrusive or rude, but the Bible repudiates covering sin with silence.
Those who love will Speak.
A Prayer for Today: Lord, I confess that in the past, I have been driven by a desire to avoid hardship in my relationships. My heart has been ruled more by a need for respect, appreciation, and love from others than it has by a desire to love you. Please help me to be a loving instrument of confrontation in my relationships…not driven by a love for self, but a love for you and others. Use me in whatever way you wish, God. In Jesus’ name, amen.
God bless,
Paul Tripp
Discussion Prompt for Children
How do you think that telling someone they’ve done something wrong might be a way to love them? If someone is doing or saying something you know is wrong, is it more loving to correct them or stay silent and not correct them? Why?
Reflection Questions
- Why might it be difficult for you to believe that if you love God above all else, confrontation should be an extension and expression of that love? In what ways can confrontation be an expression of our submission to God in our relationships with others?
- How can a failure to speak up and move into another person’s life via confrontation be evidence for a lack of love? As you take honest inventory of your life, in what ways are you failing to love others by remaining silent? Failing to love God? What is the true motivation behind your neglect of relational confrontation? What are you truly trying to prevent?
- Why is confrontation your moral responsibility in every relationship? Why is this statement true?—Those who love will speak.
- In what ways might you be tempted to be intrusive or rude when you confront others? When called into confrontation, how are you being idle and timid? Is there anyone in your life right now who could use a loving confrontation with you? If so, pray about how that conversation should be others-centered, loving, and active…but also be a conversation that is biblical, firm, and hope-filled as you confront.