The Root of Words

I’ve always found it interesting that bookstores, even in the Christian/Religion section, are filled with titles focusing on communication strategy and technique. Or, maybe in today’s world, it’s more the subject of podcasts and video masterclasses.

Have we completely missed what the Word has to say about our words? “No human being can tame the tongue” (James 3:8).

James unequivocally declares that our communication problems cannot be solved by normal human means. Changes in location, situation, education, training, exercise, or the nature of the relationship will not solve the problem.

Is there any point in even trying to improve in this area? Well, of course there is! Chapter 3 ends with, “And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace” (3:18).

So, if God calls us to plant seeds that lead to a righteous harvest and make peace with our words, how do we do that if we can’t fix our tongue?

The answer is found immediately in the following verse: “What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1)

Notice that James’ answer to “what causes quarrels and fights?” isn’t “lack of skill in conflict resolution” or “inadequate time allocation to communication.” No, James goes in a radically different direction. He instructs us to examine the desires of our hearts.

What we speak is directly related to what we want. Our words are one means to get what is important to us. An idolatrous heart produces words that serve the idols that grip us, which are often destructive and hurtful to others who stand in the way of our idols.

Word problems reveal heart problems. The people and situations around us do not make us say what we say; they are only the occasion for our hearts to reveal themselves in words.

If we are going to understand our trouble with words, we must begin with the heart. Our tongues are a restless evil because “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9).

So, if our tongue is a restless evil and untamable beast, is there any hope for our war of words? Yes, but it’s not found within our flesh but in the Word who became flesh.

The promise of the gospel extends deeper than new techniques and strategies. It aims at more than a temporary lull in the storm of words. The gospel holds out the promise of nothing less than a new heart—one that is no longer enslaved to the passions and desires of the flesh.

How does this change begin? James 4:7-10 holds the answer: “Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Be wretched and mourn and weep. Let your laughter be turned to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will exalt you.”

Change begins at the level of the heart. Our passions, desires, thoughts, and motives must change. We must renounce the idols that have replaced God and turn our hearts back to him so that our words will reflect a heart ruled by God alone.

I was counseling a couple many years ago, and I vividly recall the day when one spouse said to the other, “For years, I’ve blamed you for our inability to talk. I’ve complained to my friends about how hard you are. But God has shown me this week that I have been bitter against you for years. I have kept a record of wrongs and looked with a critical eye at everything you have done. It hit me today that as long as I continue to hate you in my heart, I will not love you with my mouth.”

Because Jesus died, this transforming grace is freely available right here, right now.

A Prayer for Today: God, I recognize that my words are a symptom of what is going on inside my heart, and I need you to change my heart. I need you to work in the depths of who I am as a person and transform me at the deepest level by the power of your Spirit. I know it is the only way that my words will truly glorify you and bring genuine life and encouragement to others. Lord, I submit myself to you and ask you to do what I never will be able to do: turn my heart of stone into a heart of flesh that honors you and transforms my speech. In Jesus’ name, amen.

God bless,

Paul Tripp

Discussion Prompt for Children

• Why do you think our words matter so much to God?

• In what ways have you seen words encourage others and bring people joy? In what ways have you seen words hurt others and bring people sadness and anger?

• How do you think God is calling us to live when it comes to our words? Will you pray with me and ask God to transform our words into things that bring people life and bring God glory?

Reflection Questions

1. In what ways have you witnessed the power of your words to bring life and encouragement to others? Conversely, how have you seen your words tear others down and create relational damage?

2. Why is the gospel something that extends deeper than communication techniques and strategies in order to change how we speak? Have you taken the time to search your heart and ask the Lord to help change you at the deepest heart level so that your speech might reflect the work God is doing within you? If not, take some time right now to ask the Lord to work powerfully within your heart so that your words might reflect the character change you’re experiencing.

3. What idols might be standing in the way of you experiencing the heart change God wants to do in your life? How might those idols be directly impacting your speech on a daily basis? After you take some time to identify what those idols might be, ask God to purge them and replace them with a deep affection for him.

4. Why is your speech really a matter of the heart and not necessarily a matter of words? How do you think God wants to work at the deepest levels of your heart today?