Unrealistic Tickets to Paradise
I mentioned last week that in my years as a biblical counselor, I quickly discovered that I was counseling eternity amnesiacs.
What is an eternity amnesiac? It’s someone who has functionally forgotten the Forever life to come and tells themselves that this life on earth is all there is to life.
(I wish I could say to you that I have never suffered from eternity amnesia, but I have. I still do. And I still will, until I’m finally home Forever with Christ!)
As eternity amnesiacs, we make our lives much more difficult than they need to be. Here is a quick overview of the consequences of eternity amnesia in our everyday lives:
1. Living with unrealistic expectations.
Because we are hardwired for Forever, we’ll long for a perfect paradise, and we’ll struggle with the reality that our current address—a fallen world—is anything but perfect. This longing and struggle are reasonable, but in our moments of eternity amnesia, we’ll become unreasonable in expecting the present world to be what it can never be.
We want the here and now earth to behave as if it is our final paradise destination, when in fact, all that we are experiencing in the here and now earth prepares us for the Forever destination that is to come.
2. Asking too much of people.
In the same way, when we fail to live with Forever in view, we will unrealistically ask the people around us to provide the paradise for which our hearts crave. Just like a fallen earth cannot provide paradise, neither can broken people!
No human being, whether your spouse, child, parent, or best friend, can give you inner peace and satisfaction that we can only ever experience in eternity. Asking too much of people only ends in disappointment, frustration, conflict, and division.
3. Questioning the goodness of God.
If we don’t understand God’s Forever agenda and his purpose for keeping us in a less-than-perfect world with less-than-perfect people, we will end up questioning his character, goodness, love, and control.
Unless we live with the constant remembrance that God’s promises only reach their complete fulfillment in the world that is to come, we will feel as if we have been hit with the cosmic bait and switch in the world we now live in.
4. Living more disappointed than thankful.
Unrealistic expectations will always lead to disappointment and pain. Yes, we will suffer the pain of a fallen world, and yes, broken people will sin against us, but our disappointment often reveals more about our own eternity amnesia than it does about the world and humans around us.
Many of us are primarily disappointed, not because God has failed us, or because we have it extremely hard, or because the people around us have been particularly difficult to live with, but because we approach life today hoping that it will deliver to us things that we can only experience in Forever.
There are four more consequences of living with eternity amnesia that I will cover in next week’s devotional, but to end today, here’s another quote from C.S. Lewis in Mere Christianity:
“Most of us find it very difficult to want “Heaven” at all—except in so far as “Heaven” means meeting again our friends who have died. One reason for this difficulty is that we have not been trained: our whole education tends to fix our minds on this world. Another reason is that when the real want for Heaven is present in us, we do not recognize it. Most people, if they really learned to look into their own hearts, would know that they do want, and want acutely, something that cannot be had in this world. There are all sorts of things in this world that offer to give it to you, but they never quite keep their promise.”
A Prayer for Today: Lord Jesus, I admit that a lot of my disappointment in life has more to do with my eternity amnesia than it does with my circumstances or the people around me. God, I live with unrealistic expectations. I ask too much of people. I often question your goodness. And I live my life with more disappointment than I do thankfulness. Would you forgive me, Lord, and would you help me to remember that there is a perfect world to come that I’ll never be disappointed in? I need you to help me dwell on Forever instead of just the here and now. Thank you, God. In Jesus’ name I pray, amen.
Conversation Prompts for Children
1. What would you say disappoints you the most? How do you usually act when you are disappointed?
2. Why do you think it’s so easy to expect God, people, and other things that happen to do exactly what we think is right and best?
3. Why do you think it’s helpful to remember that Christians will live forever with God? How can remembering that help you with your disappointments here and now?
4. How can you and I both help each other to remember what we’re thankful for instead of what we’re disappointed with? How can we also pray for each other?
Reflection Questions
1. What’s currently happening in your life during the here and now that God could be using to help prepare you for your Forever destination that is to come?
2. In what ways could you be asking too much of the people around you in order that they might provide you with peace and satisfaction? Who in your life do you have a tendency to do this with the most? (Spouse, children, friends, parents, etc.)
3. What things or people in this less-than-perfect world do you have a tendency to expect perfection from? What less-than-perfect events, people, or things have led you to question God’s character, goodness, love, and control?
4. What kinds of unrealistic expectations do you have when it comes to this fallen world? How might those expectations reveal some of your struggles with eternity amnesia? What do you desire that cannot be had in this world?